Some relationships keep going long after they've stopped working. A business partner you've outgrown. A friendship that now runs on obligation instead of anything real. A team dynamic where everyone knows something is off but nobody wants to be the one to say it.
We hold on because of what things used to be. Because we remember when it worked, and part of us keeps hoping it'll go back to that. There's guilt too, the feeling that walking away means the time you invested was wasted, or that you're being disloyal to someone who was once important to you.
But staying in something that isn't working anymore isn't loyalty. It's avoidance.
Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. Hermann Hesse; Reflections (1974).
The tricky part is telling the difference between something that's going through a rough patch and something that's actually done. Rough patches have tension but they still have honesty. Both sides are trying, even if it's messy. When the trying stops, when conversations become performative and nobody is saying what they really think, that's a different situation.
You know the feeling. You wake up on a Monday already dreading the week, not because the work is hard but because something deeper doesn't fit anymore. Maybe you've changed, maybe they have, maybe it just ran its course. Either way, you owe it to yourself to be honest about it before comfort makes the decision for you.
Letting go is an act of honesty. It means admitting that what you have now isn't what either of you needs, and that pretending otherwise helps nobody.
This doesn't mean burning bridges or being cold about it. You can end something with respect. You can acknowledge what it was, be grateful for that chapter, and still choose to close it.
Some things run their course, and the kindest thing you can do is recognize when that's happened.
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